my diagnosis.

Criteria for Major School Procrastination Episode

A. Three (or more) of the following symptoms must be present during the same semester, and represent a change from previous functioning:

Note: Do not include symptoms that are present between the months of May and August, or immediately before or after a holiday.

1. Excessive complaining about upcoming test, project, paper, or presentation.
2. Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all activities surrounding coursework.
3. Excessive consumption of two or more of the following the night before the due date: coffee, chai, baked goods, chocolate, cheez-its, hummus.
4. Inappropriate feelings of impending failure. Individual must recognize that these feelings are excessive or unreasonable.
5. Diminished ability to think or concentrate, nearly every day.
6. Recurrent thoughts of skipping class, leaving school, or becoming a hippie.

B. Cycling occurrences of the following, one or two nights prior to the due date:

1. 15 minutes of studying or writing.
2. 20 minutes of Facebooking.
3. 5 minutes of tea-drinking.
4. 3 minutes of dancing to Mika, Queen, or The Jackson Five. (Do not include if dancing is related to coursework, OR displays even a little bit of talent.)

C. The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or recreational areas of functioning.

D. The symptoms are not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance or a general medical condition.


my gugan.

[It's been 5 months since my Grandma Kells died, and I've been meaning to post this, but I haven't been ready. I'll never be.

This is only the second half of an entry in my paper journal-- seriously, who still has those?! It's from when she was admitted into the hospital for the first time two years ago.]

This is an old photo of my grandparents, my aunt carol, her husband, their four children, my mom, my brother, and me. (My dad was probably the photographer.)

Gugan has made it her purpose to care for people who need it. Her whole life has been devoted to helping others. She told me that when she was a kid, she lived wherever they needed her.

She moved around as a young person, caring for family members who needed help. She didn't finish school because she was needed to help raise a family.

She cared for her siblings and her siblings' children, and her own children, and then, finally, her children's children.

Me and my little brother.

She made us a million lunches-- she even strained the mushrooms out the mushroom soup for me. She walked me to the creek down the street and we wrote my name in the sand. She removed a million splinters, and threatened to use a wooded spoon to give us a million more if we didn't behave.

She sat with us on the porch swing and sang You Are My Sunshine, and Away In A Manger, and Jesus Loves Me--over and over and over-- as long as we wanted.

I remember I used to ride home from church with her, and she told me she was never afraid of dying because she believed in Jesus.

Lots of people would say that she shared the gospel with me in her car, I'd argue she had done that a million times before...

She shared with me the gospel of love your neighbor as yourself, and let the little children come to me and whatever you do to the least of my children, you do to me as well.

Well done, good and faithful servant.

And to everyone else: go and do likewise.