my bloody euphemism.

Tonight I made an emergency run to the Giant Eagle. Perhaps this is too much self-disclosure, but emergency runs, for me, mean one of three things. One, the cat needs food. Two, the cat needs litter. Three-- choose your favorite euphemism for "my period has arrived." (You can find the most extensive list here.)

Anyway, it was number three, and I was preparing to run my bag of monthly products (hygiene-products, Advil, pita chips) through the self checkout (cause I'm 12 years-old). I scanned my Advantage Card, and immediately(!) the coupon printer creates TWO advertisements for Always Ultra Thin Pads. This raises a few thoughts that I wanted to share with you, the internet.

First of all, how, how HOW did it know?! I understand that Giant Eagle keeps track of your purchasing habits to print coupons, but is it possible that the Big Bird ALSO keeps track of my cycle? My body is nearly clock-like, so it wouldn't be difficult, but--hmm-- nah! they can't!

Or, can they?

Also, these were not coupons. A coupon would be great. I don't understand why Always feels the need to advertise. It's not like I have much of a choice in the matter. (Except my $40 DivaCup that I have never used. I wonder if there's a market for not-quite-used DivaCups...) If I have to buy these once a month, I would appreciate $.50 off. But, no coupons for me, tonight, only coupon-sized greeting cards wishing me "a happy period."

Yeah, Always, you know what? When you start giving out coupons, I'LL have a happy period. Guaranteed.

my everyday low tolerance

I don't shop at Walmart for numerous reasons. A handful are ethical, but the MAJORITY of my beef with Wally World is pure and simple annoyance. I hate the crowded aisles. Everything feels dirty and disorganized. I can never find what I need. I'm afraid of being dive-bombed by a ceiling-bird.

I never feel content after a trip to Walmart. Unlike Target which makes me feel good about my consumerism, Walmart gives me a headache and makes me cranky. [On second thought, maybe I SHOULD shop there. I'd spend way less money...]

AND, it happens as soon as I walk in the door.

Has anyone else noticed that the 'enter' and 'exit' doors are on the wrong sides? Take a look at it the next time you are about to enter a Walmart [which hopefully isn't anytime soon]. Usually, in the United States, you walk/drive on the right side of the road. Walmart completely disrupts this by having the door you want on the LEFT side. I have had many, many, near-collisions because of Walmart's unnatural door placement. [And my stubborn refusal to go in the left-hand door.]

If anyone can tell me why the doors are on the wrong side, I will be grateful. Until then, I will not be shopping at Walmart. So, there.