my bloody euphemism.

Tonight I made an emergency run to the Giant Eagle. Perhaps this is too much self-disclosure, but emergency runs, for me, mean one of three things. One, the cat needs food. Two, the cat needs litter. Three-- choose your favorite euphemism for "my period has arrived." (You can find the most extensive list here.)

Anyway, it was number three, and I was preparing to run my bag of monthly products (hygiene-products, Advil, pita chips) through the self checkout (cause I'm 12 years-old). I scanned my Advantage Card, and immediately(!) the coupon printer creates TWO advertisements for Always Ultra Thin Pads. This raises a few thoughts that I wanted to share with you, the internet.

First of all, how, how HOW did it know?! I understand that Giant Eagle keeps track of your purchasing habits to print coupons, but is it possible that the Big Bird ALSO keeps track of my cycle? My body is nearly clock-like, so it wouldn't be difficult, but--hmm-- nah! they can't!

Or, can they?

Also, these were not coupons. A coupon would be great. I don't understand why Always feels the need to advertise. It's not like I have much of a choice in the matter. (Except my $40 DivaCup that I have never used. I wonder if there's a market for not-quite-used DivaCups...) If I have to buy these once a month, I would appreciate $.50 off. But, no coupons for me, tonight, only coupon-sized greeting cards wishing me "a happy period."

Yeah, Always, you know what? When you start giving out coupons, I'LL have a happy period. Guaranteed.